Hot Slut Of The Day!
Socker Boppers!
That mess above may look like a cross between an extra-large fleshlight and a hand-warming muff for gym-going types, but Socker Boppers are a great tool for any kid who lives for beating the fuck out of their friend or sibling. Socker Boppers were, sorry, are (since they still exist) puffed-up marshmallow-looking things that you slip your hands into and use them to bop others on the head or wherever. Basically, they were probably invented by the owners of urgent care facilities and health insurance companies because I’m sure many a kid has suffered a major owwie from getting slammed in the head with a Socker Bopper.
I thought that Socker Boppers were born in the 90s, but Wikipedia tells me that they were actually first produced in the 1970s. They were a hit (punned on purpose) then and were even a bigger hit in the 90s. Big Time Toys made Socker Boppers in the 90s. They were originally called Sock’em Boppers, but Mattel socked those tricks at Big Time Toys with a $1 million trademark infringement lawsuit. Mattel felt that the name Sock’em Boppers was way too similar to the name of one of their toys: Rock’em Sock’em Robots. Big Time Toys eventually changed the name to Socker Boppers.
Big Time Toys marketed Socker Boppers as an extreme pillow fight toy. And I don’t think I’ve heard the jingle for Socker Boppers since the 90s. So after watching the commercial again today, grown-up me, who has dirty gutter water for brains, heard some sucio shit. I mean, “You can sock all day, and bop all night.”
Like I said, Socker Boppers are still sold today. So I may actually buy myself a pair so I can sock and bop that jingle right out of my head.
Pic: The Toy Store