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String Thing!

String Thing may sound like a slang name for skinny dick, but in the 90s, it was the name of a fruit “snack” from Betty Crocker. But String Thing wasn’t your basic fruit snack. It was the nightmare of every parent who followed the “don’t play with your food” rule because String Thing begged you to play with it.

Betty Crocker started selling String Things in the mid-90s and it came in flavors like strawberry, cherry, and berry blue. It was sort of like Super Ropes licorice. It was made up of fruity strings that you pulled off and played with before eating. There were also themed versions of String Thing, like the super butch sports one that had a fruity jersey in it. Here’s the String Thing commercial from 1995 that is full 90s:

Betty Crocker got rid of String Thing sometime in the 90s. Like with everything, there are petitions online for Betty Crocker to bring String Thing back. So out there, are children of the 90s who are now grown and are still hard-up for String Thing. If Betty Crocker does bring it back, those String Thing devotees are going to go wild and ER nurses and doctors will have to deal with them coming in with a String Thing stuck up their nose from snorting it. “I know, isn’t it crazy how a String Thing somehow got stuck up my nose. And hypothetically, what would happen if a String Thing accidentally got stuck up someone’s asshole? Will it dissolve on its own? Asking for a friend, of course!” is what the String Thing devotee would ask next.

Pic: Twitter