Hot Slut Of The Day!

July 28, 2021 / Posted by:

Daddy Crisp Chips!

Daddy Crisp may sound like the name of a cremation company that specializes in cremating daddies but in the 1970s, it was the name of a potato chip. But not just any potato chip! Daddy Crisp chips were so crispy and delicious that they made hot blonde women stick on you like white on jizz (or “green” on jizz if you’ve got an issue down there) while trying to get into your package. Your package of Daddy Crisp potato chips, of course!

Daddy Crisp chips made their debut in the mid-1970s, and while many potato chip brands tried to market toward children and families, Daddy Crisp marketed toward douches. But Daddy Crisp didn’t only brag about their chips being a coochie magnet, they also bragged about their chips being the freshest in the game. via BusinessYield:

This was the label on a tin of Daddy Crisp Potato Chips in the mid-1970s. “When it comes to preparing authentic potato chips, there’s just one thing to start with… It’s true – real potatoes. The Daddy Crisps have made a pledge. There are no artificial ingredients or preservatives. Daddy Crisps are the freshest potato chips on the market. We guarantee it.”

And in the commercial, a dude, who is obviously a member of a second-tier Beatles cover group, sits in a state of stage 10 boredom while unexcitedly munching on Daddy Crisp after Daddy Crisp as though they were bland wisps of tap water-covered air. And as he exudes tornado clouds of pure excitement (read: the opposite), a woman throws herself at him while cooing out nauseatingly flirty words like, “Those potato chips named Daddy Crisp after you, or were you named Daddy Crisp after those noisy potato chips?”, and “They’re a lot noisier than you are but you’re both lovable.” Then we find out that the blondie isn’t horny for the dude, she’s horny for the chips! And when she tries to put her hand down his bag of Daddy Crisps, he slaps it away. I’d like to believe that a production assistant was standing to the side and thinking, “Um, it’s the 1970s, those chips are like 25 cents a bag. You can buy them at the store instead of trying to fuck for some.”

Wikipedia tells me that Lana Del Rey was born in 1985, but that’s obviously an error. Because Lana Del Rey definitely worked as an ad executive in the 1970s and came up with that entire concept including the tagline, “Love Your Daddy.

Daddy Crisps aren’t around anymore, but if they were, I wonder if I’m hard-up enough to buy a bag and coo out, “Oh daddy,” while putting each chip in my mouth as though it was a daddy dick? Don’t answer that…

Pic: YouTube

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