Hot Slut Of The Day!
Uncle Sam in Kidsongs’ Yankee Doodle Dandy!
Since the Fourth of July fell on a Sunday this year (cut to Jesus and a bald eagle wrestling in a pool full of oil over who truly owns the day), America’s birthday has also been stretched out to today. This is great news for livers and dogs who lose half of their lifespan from their insides exploding into a ball of anxiety at the sound of even the faintest firework. So because America’s birthday is now a two-day thing (yes, America IS that friend who celebrates their “birthday week” and “birthday month“), let’s pay tribute to the Kidsongs Uncle Sam!
Dlisted reader Mary dropped the Kidsongs Uncle Sam into my inbox as a possible Fourth of July HSOTD. Kidsongs is like the nerdy forefather of KIDZ BOP. While KIDZ BOP takes current pop songs and turns them into hilariously awful PG ditties, Kidsongs sticks with G-rated preschool classics. The first Kidsongs video came out in 1986 and taught kids old-fashioned nursery rhymes like Old MacDonald Had a Farm and Mary Had A Little Lamb. The Kidsongs videos after that also filled the ears of children with classic nursery rhymes. And also in 1986, they decided to drop some wholesome patriotism into the ears of children with Sing Out, America! (which sounds like something an extremely patriotic Mama Rose would sing). Sing Out, America! was later re-titled to Yankee Doodle Dandy.
At the beginning of the video, kids ham it up while busting out Yankee Doodle Dandy as they march. Then they hang out with Uncle Sam. While done up in sparkly Americana drag with a teased cotton ball of pubes attached to his chin, Uncle Sam sings a song called America’s Heroes with the kids. Uncle Sam, who kind of looks like the patriotic nephew of Reverand Henry Kane, pops up here and there to teach the kids about American history before showing up in the grand finale!
Uncle Sam was played Byron Tully who later became an old money Suze Orman type. My guess is that Byron Tully’s key to being and staying rich is: play Uncle Sam in a Kidsongs video. I mean, obviously he gets a Mount Rushmore-sized pile of money in residuals every month from starring in such a patriotic classic!
Pic: RLJ Entertainment