Afternoon Crumbs

April 2, 2021 / Posted by: Michael K

If you’re planning on going outside today, wear your wellies and bring an inflatable raft, because there’s a very good chance that the entire land will flood with sad genital tears from millions of coochies and b-holes bawling over the fact that The Hot Duke and The Hot Duke’s hot ass will not be in season 2 of Bridgerton. It was announced that Regé-Jean Page, who played Simon Bassett, the Duke of Hastings, will not be back for the new season, but his wife, played by Phoebe Dynevor will return. It seems like it was his decision since he’s busy with movies now. And well, Netflix had a good run but it looks like they’re going to declare bankrucpty soon… unless they announce a brand new show called Putting The Ass In Bassett, which will just be old shots of Regé-Jean’s nalgas playing on a loop – Just Jared

Sofia Vergara’s piece of shit ex blamed Hollywood and promoted his anti-abortion movie in his statement about losing his final apppeal in his long ass legal battle over their frozen embryos. Speaking of lawsuits, I’lll probably be hit with a class-action lawsuit from pieces of actual shit for comparing Sofia Vergara’s ex to them – Celebitchy

In the year 2026, Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt will still be fighting in a court room over custody of their children, as Knox and Vivienne Jolie-Pitt stroll in like, “Ugh, today’s our 18th birthday so you can stop now.” Angie and Brad will stop for a second, look up, shrug, and then keep on fighting – Cinemablend

Well, it looks like Justin Timberlake and his manager are two delusional peas in two delusional pods – Pajiba

Rose McGowan says she temporarily ended up in Twitter jail over shitting on Bill Clinton – The Blemish

The living Carla Bruni deepfake known as Bella Hadid got deepfaked for the Thierry Mugler show – Egotastic!

Don’t mind me, I just thought Hailey Bieber was using hot sauce as lip gloss – Popoholic

Pic: Netflix

Tags: Afternoon Crumbs

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