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The Dickmas Light Display That Saved A Woman’s Life!
The owner of a house in Cape St. Claire, Maryland, decided to put the HO in holiday by decorating the roof of their house with a glorious lit-up circumcised pencil dick and tiny, tight balls. The homeowner thought it would make a great landing strip for Santa, and well, it’s a good thing I don’t live anywhere near Cape St. Claire, MD or the homeowner might find my electrocuted body on their roof after I licked those lights. And strangely enough, not everyone in the neighborhood has been filled up with holiday cheer from that Dickmas light display. So after the neighborhood’s homeowner association received several complaints, they declared a dick-hating act by telling the homeowner that they need to keep the lights off of that glorious St. Dick and Jingle Balls display. But well, one woman has proven that the Santa Cock is not only a beautiful holiday addition to that neighborhood, but it also saves lives!
Reader Wendy pointed me to an article from The Capital Gazette about the 35-foot-long lit-up dick on the roof of a home on Ramblewood Drive. The homeowner and his neighbor, Matt Harriman, have a competition every year on who can put up the best Christmas lights display. Matt put up his lights first this year and joked to his neighbor that the only way he can be beaten is if the neighbor puts up Jingle Balls. And the neighbor did just that.
Here’s an overhead shot of the Dickmas display, and it looks girthier and those Jingle Balls look bigger from that angle:
https://www.facebook.com/permalink.php?story_fbid=108329081132161&id=107126237919112
Many neighbors don’t mind it and think LOLs are needed during these times. But after some peen-hating haters whined and moaned to the HOA, the homeowner, who didn’t want to talk to the Capital Gazette on record, was told to keep it unlit. But if that holidick stays unlit, people may die! Case in point: Melissa Shanker.
Melissa Shanker tells The Capital Gazette that after the Ramblewood dick display went viral, she wanted to see it for herself. So on December 12, Melissa and a friend went out to see it, and after having a little trouble finding it, they finally did, only to be disappointed by the fact that it was turned off. And that’s when Melissa got a call from her roommate, letting her know that their house was on fire and she escaped death! It’s a Christmas miracle!
Melissa’s 6-year-old daughter was not home at the time so she was not injured but one firefighter suffered minor burns. Melissa, whose sister started a GoFundMe since they lost everything, says that the house was completely destroyed and that the Dickmas display saved her life!
Shanker said she would have been asleep with her daughter on a normal night, and fears they would have been injured or worse her daughter not been there that night.
“Had we not been out looking for the Cape Penis house who knows what kinds of injuries myself and friends could have sustained,” Shanker said.
The fire department says that the cause of the fire was an unattended wood fire. So wood destroyed the house but wood also saved Melissa.
Hopefully, the HOA changes their minds about snuffing out that dazzling roof peen now that we know it’s a medical necessity that saved a life. Hopefully, Melissa and others gather on Ramblewood and protest to light up the Cape Penis house once again by chanting, “Light that dick! Light that dick!” Actually, I think I’ve seen that same scene in a Hallmark Christmas movie.
Pic: Instagram