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Chocks Vitamins!

Chocks Vitamins was before my time (Side note: Whenever I type “before my time,” one of my grey hairs turns brown again because I’m obviously a child!), but I need to pay tribute to it for two reasons. 1. Chocks paved the chewable vitamin way for The Flintstones vitamins. And 2. Chocks came in that extremely elegant and decadent glass bottle that made every medicine cabinet it was in look like the shelf of a fine parfumerie in Paree! Oh, and 3. If it wasn’t for that cockblocking “h“, it’d be Cocks!

Chocks was made by the vitamin company Miles Laboratory in 1960 and it was the first chewable vitamin for kids. It came in fruity flavors and it ruled the children’s vitamin game in the 60s until Miles Labrataroy burped up the Almighty King of Children’s Vitamins: THE FLINTSTONES! via Mental Floss:

Vitamins were also high profit items, with a market ready for diversification. In 1960, the vitamin giant Miles Laboratory, owners of the One-a-Day label, developed Chocks, the first chewable vitamin aimed at children. And, even as doctors, Food and Drug Administration officials, and scientists tussled over the alleged medical benefits of vitamins, Miles was making a mint off its candy-like chewables.

With a hold on the children’s vitamin market, it wasn’t surprising, therefore, that the company would choose to pair up with one of the most popular children’s shows at the time. In 1968, Miles paired up with the modern Stone Age family, producing chewy vitamins in a variety of flavors and in the shapes of the characters.

And judging by this horror movie of a Chocks commercial, I hope that Chocks multi-vitamins had Vitamin V (for Valium) in ’em, because I need several after watching this terror show:

Chocks never made it out of the 1970s but it should always be remembered as a pioneer in vitamins masquerading as candy And I, for one, am glad that Chocks wasn’t around when I was a kid. I mean, I was crazy for Flintstones vitamins, and every time I got my hands on a bottle, I became a junior Neely O’Hara in Valley of the Vitamins and ate too many. And if Chocks was around in the 80s, I’d really overdose on chewable vitamins, because those stunningly opulent bottles would’ve made my young gay eyes sparkle like nothing else and I’d have to have as many bottles as possible. So I’d down a bottle fast and tell my mother I was out of vitamins, while adding a Chocks bottle to my luxurious collection and waiting for Robin Leach to call me up to feature my priceless treasures on Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous.

Pic: WorthPoint