Prince George Will Be Allowed To Keep His Plundered Shark Tooth
Even though he already has an entire dinosaur skeleton to call his own (well, more precisely he calls it great-grandpa Philip), the country of Malta has decided that Prince George can keep his little shark tooth, they’ve got bigger fish to fry. Yesterday we learned that George was gifted the 23 million-year-old tooth by Sir David Attenborough who found it back in the 1960s while on vacation. You would think a renowned naturalist like Sir David would know better than most that you’re not allowed to just snatch up any old shit you find on vacation. Do they not show reruns of The Brady Bunch in Jolly Old England? Now because of his hubris, The Royal Family is probably cursed for all eternity. Which is redundant actually, considering the vast array of plundered goods already on display in The British Museum.
According to WCYB, the Maltese Culture Minister Jose Herrera has had a change of heart regarding the tooth after receiving criticism online for threatening to shake down a 7-year-old boy.
Culture Minister Jose Herrera reversed himself after facing a backlash for announcing his intention to reclaim the shark tooth fossil that had been a gift to 7-year-old prince from British naturalist and TV presenter David Attenborough. A spokesman for the minister told Times of Malta on Tuesday that “it is not (our) intention to pursue this matter any further.”
Considering that I spent my entire childhood finding cool rocks only to dutifully put them back for fear that some mysterious government agents might break into my room one night, see my cool rocks, and off to the gulag I’d go, I’m relieved for George and his family. He now officially has permission to keep the cursed item and now only has to fear waking up to some gumshoe with a gun looking for the thing as was the case with the similarly cursed Maltese Falcon.
WCYB reports that the son of a slain Maltese reporter Daphne Caruana Galizia was among the Culture Minister’s critics, citing government corruption as a bigger issue than the safe return of an old ass tooth.
A megalodon tooth costs $40 on eBay. Corruption has cost us billions of euros. I ask my government to prioritise and please get a grip on what's important. https://t.co/UqqoanAAIe
— Matthew Caruana Galizia (@mcaruanagalizia) September 28, 2020
I still think George should give it back. He can always grab another one while Philip is sleeping.
Pic: Wenn.com