Night Crumbs
Goopy Paltrow got naked for Instagram, and this act of thirst wasn’t to promote Goop’s $600 bottle of thirst-quenching morning dew droplets hand-gathered by Tibetian monks from the petals of orchids. Goopy got naked for her 48th birthday (and to promote Goop’s body butter). And say what you want about Goopy (and we all have), but it takes true talent to cover your cooze with your raised leg while your coochie tries not to drop your jade egg – Lainey Gossip
Speaking of, hook the internet up to a gallon-sized IV drip full of fluids, because its thirsty again and this time it’s got cotton mouth over Gary Oldham’s Chalamet-ish-looking son – Pajiba
Proving once again that secret babies are SO NOW, Amanda Seyfried gave birth to a secret baby whose first word will probably be his mother’s favorite word: minge – Just Jared
Tyler Posey is the latest famous-ish trick who has joined OnlyFans and probably won’t show shit, so he better be prepared for a million, “Show us that furry wolf hole already!” DMs from his subscribers – Pride
Not only is Tory Lanez a throbbing ass wart from hell, but he also watches way too many gangster movies – Celebitchy
I see that The CW didn’t up the wig budget for the second season of Batwoman, and the new Batwoman, Javicia Leslie, is making the same face I made when looking at that polyester Ronald McDonald mane on her poor head – Towleroad
Rebecca Black now looks like a rave girl go-go dancer circa 1999 – Popoholic
The unauthorized Disney-fied WAP is nothing without the appearance of the holy boner from The Little Mermaid – NME
Pic: Instagram