Hot Slut Of The Day!
Pregnant Midge!
On this Labor Day, let’s finally, finally, finally pay tribute to this labor legend who not only labored hard to push out a plastic baby (read: she just took off her pregnant bump and pulled the plastic baby out of it), but also worked the OUTRAGE button of many a mad trick who felt like Pregnant Midge was promoting teen pregnancy. Farrah Abraham, Amber Portwood, Bristol Palin, and all of the other Teen Moms need to bow down to Pregnant Midge because she was causing a commotion long before they were.
Midge made her debut in the Barbieverse in 1963. Mattel made Midge more wholesome-looking and girl-like with less makeup and boring clothes, because they wanted to counteract claims of Barbie being too sexy and grown-up. Midge was given a boyfriend, Alan, and she stuck around until 1967 when Mattel stopped making her. Midge came back in the 1980s and married Alan in 1991. And in 2003, Midge and Alan were part of the Happy Family line, along with their 3-year-old son Ryan and fetus-turned-newborn Nikki. This unholy image of a Barbie-looking doll with titties looking like a flat ass and her stomach cut open with a gymnastic baby inside has been passed around as Pregnant Midge, but it’s a picture from a toy museum in Prague:
WHAT IS THIS pic.twitter.com/wRq7Ap7iNn
— gorygaming24601 (@gorygaming24601) June 16, 2020
The Happy Family Midge doll that was sold in the US didn’t have a stomach pouch like the one above. She came with a magnetic removable womb (Magnetic Removal Womb needs to be somebody’s band name) and her baby, Nikki, was inside of it:
Here’s Nikki shoved into that half-egg bump:
Happy Family Midge caused some parents to birth out a hot bundle of FURY because they felt she was too young to have children and promoted teen pregnancy. They also felt like Happy Family Midge should really be called Sinful Slut Midge because she didn’t have a wedding ring on. Mattel “fixed” that mess by painting a wedding ring on future Happy Family Midges. But for Walmart, that wasn’t enough to calm the Pregnant Midge-hating tricks and they pulled the Happy Family set from their stores. via CBS News:
“It was just that customers had a concern about having a pregnant doll,” Wal-Mart Stores spokeswoman Cynthia Illick said.
She said the entire “Happy Family” set, which included pregnant Midge, husband Alan, and 3-year-old son Ryan, was pulled from shelves of the world’s largest retailer earlier this month.
“What we try to do is listen to what our customers want,” Illick said. “In this case, we decided to remove the product from the shelves. I think it was a unique situation.”
Mattel ended up making a new Happy Family set for Walmart, which didn’t feature a pregnant Midge. A year after Nikki’s ~ohSoCOntroVersial~ “birth,” Midge became “pregnant” again with another kid. After Mattel retired the Happy Family line, Midge laid low for a while, but she came back in 2013 and this time she didn’t have kids or Alan.
So let’s see, Midge was Barbie’s wholesome, basic friend who pissed off a bunch of stupid pearl clutchers by “promoting teen pregnancy,” and then she eventually left her husband and kids, and with help from a box of Feria (in shade: Free Bitch Red) and an eyeliner pencil, is living that glamorous ginger life:
All hail, this controversy queen! And if the pearl clutchers are still mad at Midge, don’t worry, I’m sure she’s got condoms and Plan B in her purse.
Pics: PicClick, Amazon, Worthpoint, Mattel