Hot Slut Of The Day!

September 6, 2020 / Posted by:

Little Miss No-Name!

Today, Little Miss No-Name might be Donald Trump’s nickname for Tiffany Trump, but back in the 1960s, it was the name of a sad, homely, busted-down orphan doll whose flat hair screamed for a volumizer and whose tragic wisps of eyebrows screamed for a cholita friend with a Sharpie. Basically, Little Miss No-Name needed a visit from the Queer Eyes, but that was her whole selling point. Little Miss No-Name was for those kids who’d chop their Barbie’s hair off and dress her in a burlap rag.

Barbie made her debut in 1959, and six years later in 1965, Little Miss No-Name hit the doll scene. Little Miss No-Name was the anti-Barbie, because while Barbie exuded potent glamour from her plastic pores, Little Miss No-Name exuded haunted creepiness and sadness. LMNN was designed by famous doll designer Deet D’Andrade (HOT NAME ALERT!) and was put out by Hasbro. Toy Tales says that LMNN was inspired by the big-eyed paintings of Margaret Keane. Hasbro pushed LMNN as a sad orphan girl in need of a home, and she came with a lonely sad teardrop that you could remove to make her look not so sad.

Hasbro emphasized Little Miss No-Name’s plight in its advertising. Print ads often played up what “the Doll with the Tear” lacked:

She doesn’t have a pretty dress.
She doesn’t have any shoes.
She doesn’t even have a home.
All she has is love.

Because I guess there weren’t enough Emo kids in the pre-Emo world of the 1960s, LMNN didn’t stick around that long. But she’s become a cult classic and one of her goes for hundreds of dollars on eBay.

Here’s one doll collector’s video, showing off Emily The Strange’s mother doll:

Whoever would bring that scary doll into their house is probably the same kind of person who watches the Annabelle movies and think it’s feel-good entertainment. But really, Little Miss No-Name is the perfect doll for this shit year that is 2020. But then again, if I wanted to see a sad, tragic mess with raggedy hair and woe-is-me-eyes, I’d just look in the mirror.

Pic: Tumblr

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