Open Post: Hosted By A $350 PB&J

September 2, 2020 / Posted by:

In what is surely the stupidest sign of empire collapse, a new restaurant in Chicago’s West Loop called PB&J has decided that now is a good time to start selling a $350 peanut butter and jelly sandwich. They’re calling it the “Golden Goose”, which if I’m remembering my Aesop correctly, was about a couple who got greedy and ended up broke. According to Wikipedia, it’s about “those who become poor by trying to outreach themselves.” So it’s a fitting name for a ridiculous clout sandwich that features gold leaf crusted bread and currant jam imported from France. The only way you’re ever going to see a dime of that money again is if you lean your head into the toilet bowl and inspect your shit for gold flakes. But grab a stick, you might have to chop it up a little before you strike gold.

Even though the restaurant is called PB&J, that’s not even their specialty. The name means “pool, beer and jukebox.” So intrepid diners with money to burn and no self-respect ordering the Golden Goose, must eat their $350 sandwich under the elegant glow of “a handful of TVs, painted song lyrics on one wall, decorative tap handles, and bright neons.” According to Eater:

The center of attention is the over-the-top $350 “Golden Goose” that has to be ordered at least a day in advance. It’s an entire loaf of toasted bread made with edible gold leaf and layered with Maison Dutriez Red Currant Jam; it’s the most expensive jelly in the world, de-seeded by hand with goose quills. The peanut butter is Adams All-Natural, and it’s affordable retailing for around $5 per jar. It’s then drizzled with Manuka Honey, an ingredient native to New Zealand. They’ll also offer PB&Js in loaf form — the sandwiches are reassembled inside a bag, presented to diners, then sliced open table side.

Do they want Foodgod? Because that’s how you get Foodgod. And ants.

Pic: Instagram

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