Open Post: Hosted By Scottish Potato Jesus

August 18, 2020 / Posted by:

Jesus H. Christ. He loves to pop up where you’d least expect him. Bananas. Burnt bacon pans. Dog’s wet ears. Dog’s dry butts. He’s a joker, a smoker, a midnight toker. Everything, everywhere, everyone. And now he’s lent his visage to a potato in Dundee, Scotland. Lucky 44-year-old mum Nikki Halkerston purchased him and a few other non-holy potatos at an Aldi supermarket for the low, low price of £1.15. She only noticed the face of the Son of God while unpacking her groceries at home.

Here’s another look at Potato Jesus:

Nikki explained her “come to Jesus” moment, via The Mirror:

“As soon as I put the packet on the kitchen top I saw it,” said receptionist Nikki.

“I was staring at it and it was just quite obvious it was Jesus’ face. It was just looking at me. I’ve seen stories before about people finding Jesus in their food but I can never usually see it. This was just so obviously him.

“I called my husband into the kitchen and he’s usually really sceptical about these sort of things. He never gets over-excited about anything but even he agreed it looked like Jesus.”

Wow, even a sinful non-believer like Nikki’s husband was forced to admit the potato was “so obviously” Jesus! That proves it!

Now, a lot of you are probably on bent knee, pleading to Jesus in the heavens, screaming, “Why a potato? What Scotland? Why NOW?” Well, my children, it is not for us to question why. It is for us to believe, to worship, and to ensure his holy image is preserved for the rest of – OH SHIT, she ate it already?! For Christ’s sake! Yep, Nikki ate Potato Jesus right after she snapped a picture. Which means his spirit lives in her. For at least a few days. Behold, the smiling face of your Messiah’s temporary vessel:

Pic: YouTube

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