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August 10, 2020 / Posted by:

Buzzy The Cookie Crafter!

Buzzy may look like a jolly turd man, which is fitting since I’m sure many a parent in the 80s screamed, “What a piece of shit!”, at him for the mess he always created. But Buzzy The Cookie Crafter was a big, plastic graham cracker man who helped turn children into cookie-cutting artistes! And Buzzy also worked the last nerve of every parent who had to clean up the cookie crumb disaster he left.

Buzzy had a little motorized spinning cutter on his belly, and you used that and the templates he came with to shape graham crackers into hearts, stars, and more. Buzzy also came with gel to decorate your cookies with. This commercial shows Buzzy in action. Not pictured: the parent who had to spit out the lie of lies while saying, “What a pretty cookie, honey“, about that hideous snot-covered star cookie:

Yes, Buzzy made every child a Food Network cookie challenge champion (long before Food Network cookie challenges even existed), but he also promoted graham cracker waste and messiness. So Buzzy was probably the evil creation between the graham cracker and vacuum industries. And every time an over-it parent had to pull out a Hoover to clean up all the graham cracker crumbs, his evil ass smile probably became even bigger!

Pic: WorthPoint

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