Insanity struck at Florida’s recently re-opened Disney World this week. All the tiny coronaviruses scattered throughout the park rat-kinged their way together to form one giant COVID-mega-cloud! The green parasitic mist has engulfed all of Splash Mountain. All is lost!
OK, that didn’t happen (YET), but crazy shit did indeed go down. A group of people were on Splash Mountain, Disney’s log flume ride, when their floating log began taking on water. The riders evacuated the ride, because, uh, they were sinking, but a Disney employee told them they should have followed protocol and remained seated. She said fleeing for their lives was a “safety hazard”.
The riders posted video and photos of the incident on Twitter:
Before and after (my boyfriend and I were in the back seats) pic.twitter.com/IqJUsIIoZE
— Karen Ramirez (@Kai_cece98) August 3, 2020
Some people tweeted that the water on Splash Mountain isn’t very deep and getting off the ride was probably more dangerous than staying on. Others disagreed, claiming the riders could have drowned, especially if there were small children on board. Let’s just say this Twitter discussion had the name “Karen” being thrown back and forth a helluva lot.
Either way, the employee’s attitude is like that meme with the tea-sipping dog happily burning alive in his kitchen, saying, “This is fine.” Said meme actually inspired Disney World to re-open smack dab in the middle of Florida’s record-breaking pandemic. Because if they’re technically following the rules, it’ll all be OK, right? Right?! Nobody will drown! Nobody will end up on a ventilator! La la la, Mickey Mouse knows all! Don’t question Mickey Mouse! Mickey Mouse is watching!