During last night’s American Idol finale, Ryan Seacrest had some kind of wonky eye situation and seemed a bit off. While some thought he had too much of my usual Sunday night special (WINE) or was suffering from a case of Botox droop, most were afraid he was having some kind of stroke on live television. But Ryan’s claim says he did not have a stroke or any other kind of medical emergency. The Dr. Frankenstein of the Kartrashians is just dealing with the tireds from hosting 1,948 shows while in quarantine. The RyBot 3000 has been plugged in and is now re-charging and will be back to host another 1,948 shows in no time – Just Jared
Nobody is lonelier than Ben Affleck and Ana de Armas’ coffee machine. The poor thing goes unused and has to deal with those mean bitches flaunting their whores (read: coffee from other coffee places) in front of it. Cruel! – Celebitchy
Yes, Lena Dunham is one of those who says “my gays” and is so full of herself that she keeps a life-like statue of her soul in her house – Pajiba
With help from some clippers, Christopher Meloni went from hot daddy who also teaches English at a community college to hot daddy who spits on your parts when you tell him to get the lube – SOW
Today in January Jones (at least they tell me that’s her) is bored – Egotastic!
Since Vanity Fair is probably not going to ever ask Lea Michele to do a Demi Moore for their cover, she has to take matters into her own hands (but sadly is getting shown up by grown Groot’s pube bush, or whatever that Etsy thing of wood is) – Popoholic
Jaime King has filed for divorce from her husband of 12 years, Kyle Newman, and it sounds like things are scary and messy since she also asked for a restraining order against him – E! News
Ken Osmond, who went from everyone’s favorite troublemaker Eddie Haskell to police officer (and was never Alice Cooper), has died at 76 – Variety