Afternoon Crumbs

May 5, 2020 / Posted by:

Chloë Sevigny has given birth to the next generation of New York City hipster royalty who will barf in their mouth whenever they see the disturbing sight of a yuppie scum banker in Brooks Brothers khakis go into a newly opened Starbucks Reserve. Chloë hasn’t confirmed that her baby was pulled out of her vaginë and so we don’t have a name yet, sadly. But I’m sure she’s going to show those wannabe weird hipsters Elon Musk and Grimes how to really bring the pretentiousness in a baby name. I was going to say that Chloe is going to fill her baby’s name with as many umlauts as possible but I think she’s just going to keep it simple and name her child ¨. Just ¨. No last name needed because with a name like ¨, you already know who their mother is – Just Jared

Since Mickey Mouse is making sure he gets his money back from buying Lucasfilm, yet another Star Wars movie is in the works and this one will be directed by Taika WaititiLainey Gossip 

Julia Roberts showed off the look she was planning to wear to this year’s Met Gala, but honestly, that goth shower puff thing is better suited for the bathtub –Celebitchy

And Katy Perry also showed off the Jean Paul Gaultier cone bra maternity look (complete with a baby bump-protecting armadillo shield) she was planning to wear to the Met Gala  – Instagram

With the way that this year is going, I’m sure Trump will pardon Joe Exotic and then immediately name Joe the head of the Fish and Wildlife Service – Towleroad

Elle Fanning should really get that double dose of pink coral eye looked at by a medical professional – Egotastic!

Hilary Duff busted out a squat peeing in the woods pose for Instagram – Popoholic

Panty Creamer of the Day: Channing Tatum taking out the trash in pedal pushing Hammer pants of elegance – People


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