Hot Slut Of The Day!
Lt. Dan, the new Cadbury Bunny!
Way, way, way back during simpler times in fucking February, Cadbury launched their annual tryouts to be their newest Cadbury Bunny. They got thousands upon thousands of auditions from dogs, cats, pigs, ducks, hamsters, and other animals who wanted to become the new face of Easter! Earlier this month, Cadbury announced the top ten finalists when they opened up voting. And the voters have spoken and Lt. Dan, a two-legged dog from Ohio, has won! I can’t wait to see Lt. Dan bawk bawk bawk away in a commercial. And since Easter is canceled (sorry, Jesus), we need this!
Here was Lt. Dan’s competition:
And four days ago, Cadbury announced that Lt. Dan (who is named after Gary Sinise’s character in Forrest Gump, duh) won, even though he’d probably die a slow painful death if he ate one of those Cadbury Creme Eggs:
Lt. Dan was adopted from a shelter by the humans he lives with in New Richmond, Ohio. They celebrated his win with his favorite thing: a whole lot of peanut butter!
At least something good has happened in this world. I will toast to Lt. Dan’s win every single morning with a Cadbury Creme Egg omelette (aka the breakfast of champions). And not only will Lt. Dan go down in history as one of the greatest Cadbury Bunnies, but he’ll probably go down in history as the last since the world is ending. Congratulations to Lt. Dan!
Pic: Instagram