Night Crumbs

March 16, 2020 / Posted by: Michael K

Goopy Paltrow got shit last week when the Goop IG account did a frivolous post that promoted some overpriced and ugly Goop label clothes as everyone was worried about coronavirus. Goop ended up deleting the post. Honestly, the only offensive part of this story is that Goopy’s $1000 outfit looks like some 90s Gap shit found at the Goodwill for $2. Looking like a frumpy Amish librarian from the 90s should not cost you $1000. And people really need to save the outrage for when Goop inevitably sells $1700 organic cashmere toilet paper, $800 Siberian Tiger saliva hand sanitizer, a $900 limited-edition jade vagina egg that will cure corona cough in your cooch, and the perfect Goop label bikini to wear while showing off your post-corona skinny body on a yacht this summer – Lainey Gossip

Master Archie may reunite with THE QUEEN this summer. That’s if he isn’t busy fist fighting other kids at a supermarket in Canada over the last diaper – Celebitchy

Just when you thought that he virus known as the Kartrashians ruined the Met Gala, the coronavirus has come along and completely taken out this year’s Met Gala – Pajiba

I’d like to see the mommy shamers really come for CoCo for continuing to breastfeed her 4-year-old. Her mighty camel toe will chew those bitches up and spit them out – LADbible

Mel and Max Brooks did a social distancing PSA, and my only takeaway is that it looks like Mel Brooks has one of those extremely exquisite touch lamps – SOW

Um, unless a butt injection bruise is a result of corona, I doubt Aubrey O’Day has corona – Drunken Stepfather

A PUPPEH!!! (and Vanessa Hudgens too, I guess) – Popoholic

To those parents who thought the coronavirus was going to keep you from having to take your kids to see Trolls World Tour at a movie theater: Universal just made your nightmare even more of a nightmare since Trolls World Tour will soon be available to stream at home, so your kids can watch it over and over again…. – Just Jared

Keri Hilson came up with one way for everyone to remember Keri Hilson – Towleroad

Pic: Instagram

Tags: Night Crumbs

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