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February 29, 2020 / Posted by:

Playmobil’s Victorian Mansion!

Since I didn’t grow up in Beverly Hills or have friends that could look down at Richie Rich like, “Ewww, what a disgusting poor!”, I never got to play with Playmobil’s Victorian Mansion. Although, I did have a friend whose mom served me a slice of Viennetta once, so maybe I did grow up in Beverly Hills adjacent (“adjacent” as in 35 miles away). Playmobil is considered the makers of children’s toys, but in the late 80s or early 90s (which was the birth of this opulence personified), they became the makers of true luxury when they put out this piece of lavish art. Honestly, I’m surprised that Cartier, Tiffany, and Bulgari didn’t immediately shut down since their little homely baubles looked like mothballs from a poor moth compared to this flawless jewel of perfection!l

Playmobil’s Victorian collection was large, and it included that mess of a hobo and bobby playset (aka every hipster’s dream look), but the Victorian mansion playset was a thing of stunningly rich beauty that many kids would trade in their entire family for. I don’t even know how much it cost back then, because I’m sure it was kept in an EXCLUSIVO part of Toys ‘R Us, behind protective glass and guarded by two security guards. I’m sure it didn’t even have a price tag. Yes, it was some “if you had to ask you can’t afford it” shit.

Here’s a close-up look at the magnificent manse that even Prince Hot Ginge and Meghan Markle would look at like, “Fuck, out of our budget!

And here’s a look at it with a bunch of furniture, people, and accessories:

And a look at the inside:

Another look at the inside:

Your parents had to buy the furniture, people, and accessories separately. So if you had a Playmobil Victorian mansion that was completely furnished, you’re not reading this, because you’re an Olsen and the Olsens don’t do the internet. They get their curated news from a manservant who reads it to them in the morning from a scroll right before they have their moment of zen by playing with their vintage Playmobil Victorian mansion from their childhoods.

Used Playmobil Victorian mansions go for $100 and up on eBay. And if Playmobil ever decides to re-release it, they can re-release it as the Downton Abbey Wishes!!! playset.

Pics: Klickypedia, eBay, Amazon

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