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The Miracle Dome Whirl of Playgrounds From The Past!
The playgrounds of the olden days were death trap obstacle courses that were probably created by greedy insurance company executives who diabolically cackled as they raised our parents’ premiums from our parents bringing us into the ER with busted bones and deep ass cuts we got while playing on those murder contraptions. And today, I’m paying tribute to one of those murderous death traps: The Miracle Dome Whirl!
Compared to the skin-burning metal slide and merry-go-rounds (more like, nightmare-go-rounds), the Miracle Dome Whirl wasn’t as dangerous at all. I only encountered one in my youth, and didn’t get a whirl on it, because a bunch of kids hogged it up. The way it worked was that you’d grab onto the metal handles and hold on as either someone pushed it around or you used your legs to push it around. And you let the Miracle Dome Whirl spin you round round, baby, round round until the dizzies brought the barfs out of you or until your arms fell off.
Nowadays, dumb fuck kids are hurting themselves and others while doing stupid Darwin Award-worthy stunts for TikTok fame. But back in the day, we busted ourselves the old-fashioned way by falling off a spinning ice cream scoop with fudge sauce on top (or if you’re a gutter brained grown like me, the dick tip of a top after fucking a bottom who didn’t douche) as our parents screamed at us to walk it off. Truly simpler times!
Pic: Flickr