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February 8, 2020 / Posted by:

The Inchworm from the 70s!

While us children of the 80s had the Big Wheel (specifically, the Cabbage Patch Big Wheel if you were a baller bitch) and children of the now have Uber Copter or drones or whatever, some children of the 70s had the Inchworm (seen above with a cracked-open ass. That’s its ass, right?). The Inchworm was also around in the 80s, and so I’d see one every now and again, and I always wanted to ride one, but never did. And now that I’m older and used gutter water runs my thoughts, shit looks a mess to me!

Wikipedia says that Hasbro first put out the Inchworm in the early-70s, and it crawled out of the mind of inventor Joseph M. Buck who made a prototype using the hose of a washing machine. The Inchworm wore a little jaunty hat that looked like a cross between a growth and a condom, and he had a creepy grin plastered over his face. I know that many commercials from the 70s look like horror movies, but thanks to the Inchworm’s facial expression that makes you want to scream for an adult, this is really a horror movie trailer:

Hasbro still makes Inchworm today, but the vintage Inchworms from the 70s go for over $200. And that’s a small price to pay to live out a childhood dream, but I really don’t want to deal with the cops that’ll get called on me for being a grown bitch bouncing on a creepy worm down the street.

Pic: Blogspot

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