Night Crumbs

January 27, 2020 / Posted by:

During an interview with NPR, Selena Gomez said that she was emotionally abused by Justin Bieber when they were together. Just looking at Justin Bieber makes me want to freebase Xanax, so I can’t even imagine. I’m sure the Biebs will respond to this by putting up a bible quote about forgiveness on Instagram, or he’ll make Hailey Bieber egg Selena’s house as he cackles from the backseat of a chauffeured SUV. Probably that second one – Just Jared

Congratulations to the PR teams of Camila Cabello and Shawn Mendes for holding an emergency contract extension meeting between the start of the Grammys and the end of it. Your bonuses will not ever be big enough! – Lainey Gossip 

If you’ve ever wondered what it would look like if one of your hemorrhoids had a conversation with your herpes flare-up – Celebitchy

I haven’t been able to expose my last working brain cell to The View because of The Ugly Marble Wall Show (aka the impeachment hearings) and it looks like I’ve lucked out – Pajiba

Rita Ora is serving Real Housewife of Orange County on a budget, going to Montana – Drunken Stepfather

Okay, but why does it look like Elle Fanning is taking a selfie while in the mouth of someone with jacked-up teefs? – Popoholic

And Fox News just fell in 🤍🤍 love 🤍🤍 – The Blemish

Cardi B’s silicone wrecking ball of a chichi could not be contained by one of her Grammy looks – Egotastic!

And now I really want a Grease cross-over movie where we learn that Sandy and Stephanie are late-in-life lesbians who get into some summer spring  lovin’ at Dinah Shore Weekend – SOW

Bowen Yang talked about how his parents sent him to gay conversion therapy, and honestly, the only good reason to go to gay conversion therapy is to hook up with other gays, and it sounds like Bowen didn’t even get into that there. The worst! – Towleroad



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