The lady beater-fighting furry squad!
Avengers: Endgame is supposedly the last Avengers movie for now, but you know those greedy whores at Marvel are putting together a reboot of that shit as you read this. But if you’re near Marvels offices, please run in and tell them they can go ahead and pull the plug on plans for an Avengers reboot since the only crime-fighting squad we need are the crime-fighting furries!
The annual FurtherConfusion Festival (or FurCon for short) was held in San Jose, CA over the weekend, and it’s supposed to be a meeting of love, fun, polyester fur, and dancing in your furry costume until it either fills with sweat and you almost drown or you pass out from the rank sweaty crotch fumes that get trapped in your costume. And when leaving the convention, some furries probably hope to work up a sweat again by pounding a trick. But this is not what they had in mind and it doesn’t involve a furry sticking their erect furry tail into the hole of another furry costume (if you need me later, I’ll be teaching furry sex education at Furry U since I obviously know all about furry sex).
NBC Bay Area says that a group furries were leaving the convention center after FurCon had ended and they heard a woman screaming. And when they rounded the corner, they found a man attacking a woman in a car and claim he must’ve hit her at least ten times. One of the furries, Kin Z. Shiratsuki, tells NBC Bay Area that she and her fellow furries pulled the lady beater out of the car. They didn’t want to fight an ass whoopin’ with an ass whoopin, so they just held him down until the cops showed up.
“I’ve had my whole life, a bunch of taekwondo and karate,” said Shiratsuki. “I was able to grab him by the back, pull him out of the vehicle and put him on the ground with as little violence as I could.”
Here’s a squad of furries showing me that my new favorite kind of CITIZEN’S ARREST is a FURRIES’ ARREST!
— ROBBIE! 🏝️ (@robbiesets) January 18, 2020
The woman was reportedly the dude’s Uber driver, and he later ended up getting a ride share ride by the cops to jail after they arrested him on domestic battery.
The San Jose Police Department better reward those criminal-busting furries with some kind of badge of honor. Better yet, San Jose PD should make them actual police officers, because 2020 might turn around for the better if I knew that a real-life PAW Patrol was out there keeping the people safe!