Open Post: Hosted By “The Bachelor” Delivering A Dignified Champagne Shot

I am that person who live-tweets The Bachelor on Monday nights along with my fellow middle-aged white women drunk on wine. As such, I saw this beautiful mess live. Last night, while Pilot Pete was looking for love, one woman was looking for her bottle of champagne in a conspiracy-theory so insane you’d think Dina Lohan came up with it. This culminated in the woman in question, Kelsey, taking an ill-advised direct sip from a just-opened champagne bottle. What ensued was some hardcore-porn-looking-shit that you just know will haunt her in GIF-form for life.

So Kelsey had champagne sitting on her desk which she saved for a special occasion and so clearly she brought it to open on The Bachelor. Well, this other contestant, Hannah Ann, went and opened it herself and ruined Kelsey’s moment! But production had set up a champagne thing for Hannah and so it was an honest mix-up. Kelsey was livid regardless because Hannah Ann “knew” what she did, but still ended up popping the other bottle–which was indeed fully pre-set, confirming Hannah’s alibi–with Bachelor Peter. Here’s where shit goes further sideways for Kelsey who I hope sticks around because I love the messy ones.

Kelsey cooed,  “I might need a drink,” while acting all sexy and seductive after just throwing THEE hissy-fit of the evening. Kelsey tried to gulp straight from the bottle, because you can’t be that high-maintenance and then not at least feign being chill–and says:

“I’m not a classy bitch all the time.”

Takes a sip and it explodes in her whole face! I advice the entire video but the real fun starts around 1:27:

That’s like a Robin Leach facial, and well, her brows and eyelashes stayed on!

Pic: YouTube