Hot Slut Of The Day!

If your irises are forming into question marks while looking at that thing, you might be wondering if it’s a weird-looking Fleshlight for dudes with a warped tiara-shaped dick or a cookie cutter of Sally from Peanuts. But actually, that plastic red thing is a drinking cup that’s trying to put straws out of business for once and for all, because it allows you to sip some tea while keeping your eyes on all the action.

Jalopnik says that the action that cup allows you to keep your eyes on is the action at a Nascar race. It was actually born in 2009 from the minds of the people at a creative agency called WKNYC and they did it as a giveaway for ESPN at Nascar events. But those of us who don’t follow Nascar shit (because honestly, it’s a sport that barely gives us any man bulge, so why bother?) are barely finding out about it now after a Nascar fan site tweeted about it. The cup has been called The Cup (WKNYC deserved a bonus for that one) and not only does it give its user a red cartoon duck nose, but it also lets them guzzle down some beer while keeping their eyes free to spot crashes or Cary Elwes in tiny glasses.

The Cup. In 2009 the creatives at @wknyc produced this wonderful at track giveaway for client @espn. Designed with the fans in mind, this drinking apparatus allowed you to enjoy any tasty beverage without missing the action on the track. #nascar pic.twitter.com/64sb2heoWp

— I Want to Believe Nascar (@IWTBNASCAR) December 29, 2019

It’s shocking (read: not at all) that The Cup isn’t everywhere by now. Although, if they want to be everywhere, they should redesign it. They should make The Cup completely cover your eyes. That way you can chug down your sweet nectar of choice while not having to see the world collapse.

Pic: WKNYC