Afternoon Crumbs

December 20, 2019 / Posted by:

My apologies to the 911 operator who is about to hear a crazed gay guy say, “Please send a bunch of firefighters with strong stomachs because there’s a whore-alarm fire in the hole! What’s the address, you ask? The address is my butthole,” and it’s all thanks to the video of Santa Gingey thrusting it and looking like he’s about to slide down that chimney. HO HO HO! – YouTube

If music videos could get Oscars for special effects, the new video for Mariah Carey’s All I Want For Christmas Is You would win the one for 2020 NOW – Lainey GossipĀ 

Emma Watson is so self-partnered that she doesn’t even want to partner up with the rest of The Little Women cast to promote that shit – Celebitchy

Because Jennifer Hudson wants to give us a palate cleanser for her fucked-up look in Cats, there’s a teaser trailer for Respect, the movie where she plays Queen Aretha. Now, all I see is Jennifer Hudson doing Jennifer Hudson in an Aretha tribute on The Voice, but I’m going to reserve my judgement until I see her delivery of the “beautiful gowns” line in the movie – Pajiba

I bet that Bern Nadette Stains is saying to Jimmie J.J. Walker through clenched teeth, “That Ann Coulter crap better not be true or else!” – SOW

For a second there I thought Carrie Underwood was THOT-ing up and I almost yelled, “GO CARRIE!” – Drunken Stepfather

Um, Dakota Fanning knows that you’re not supposed to piss in a sink unless it’s your last resort, right? – Popoholic

That Steph Curry dick you saw on Twitter may not belong to Steph Curry – Complex

Shawn Mendes makes it so easy – Just Jared

Sorry, contenders for Celebrity Dad of the Year, it looks like Dwyane Wade sealed up that title – Towleroad

In news we already knew news, Joshua Jackson and Jodie Turner-Smith got married – People

Pic: YouTube

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