Hot Slut Of The Day!
Narwhal, the unicorn rescue puppy!
Something is leaking out of my b-hole, and before you say, “When isn’t something leaking out of your b-hole?”, I need to tell you that you’re right, but this time the something that’s leaking out of my b-hole is water from my frozen heart melting over that adorable puppy with a furry windshield wiper!
The latest animal friend that’s making people end up in the hospital after overdosing on awww-ness is Narwhal, a magical and ethereal creature who was born with an extra tail on his forehead. No, the tail doesn’t wag. And yes, Narwhal (full name: Narwhal the Little Magical Furry Unicorn) looks like the adorable results of some dumb and dizzy kid playing Pin The Tail On The Puppeh. 10-year-old Narwhal was brought into the dog rescue organization Mac’s Mission in Jackson, Missouri after he was found freezing his tails off in the wild. Besides a little frostbite forming on his paw and puppy worms, he was okay and is perfectly healthy.
Narwhal made the internet puke with cuteness a few days ago, and ever since becoming an internet star, Mac’s Mission has been sharing videos of him on their Facebook page:
THE. CUTE. NESS. My dog probably saw me melt into a pathetic puddle over Narwhal’s adorableness and made a note to record me the next time I’m doing something that will ruin me (like watching more than 5 minutes of Keeping Up with the Kardashians), so that he has something to blackmail me with if I even think about adopting Narwhal. But I am not thinking about adopting Narwhal, because I don’t want to get in line and apparently the line is long.
The founder of Mac’s Mission, Rochelle Steffen, tells TMZ that they’ve gotten over 100 applications for Narwhal, and that’s highly unusual since they barely get one application when it comes to special dogs. They’re afraid that Narwhal may end up in the hands of a circus ringleader, or worse, an Instagram Influencer who will use him to get more likes and attention. So they’re going to wait at least two months until they begin the journey to pick the lucky human who will get the gift of Narwhal. They also want to make sure he’s okay before they hand him over to someone else:
Rochelle says they’ve never had a dog like Narwhal, so they want to keep him and let him get bigger while they monitor the tail and make sure there are no negative health effects. If all’s well in 2 months, they will put him back up for adoption, but she says they’ll likely add a few questions to narrow down prospective candidates.
Honestly, there’s an easy way to find a human who is good enough to have Narwhal in their lives. Mac’s Mission just needs to ask the human to fart, and if they don’t fart glitter, they’re out, because Narwhal’s human should be as magical as him.
Pic: Mac’s Mission