Hot Slut Of The Day!
Yogos!
Yogos weren’t coagulated jizz balls from the 90s, like I thought they were. They were coagulated jizz balls from the 2000s instead. In the early-aughts, Kellogg’s decided to gift the mouths of those of us who only ate the yogurt balls in the oh-so-healthy trail mix our mom bought from the bins at the supermarket by making Yogos!
Yogos were yogurt balls with the guts of Fun Fruits. Or a Fun Fruit that had been squirted on by a cow’s titty. They came in individual bags and had flavors like strawberry, berries, berry banana, watermelon, cherry, tropical, and sour berry. Kellogg’s pushed them as some healthy shit parents could throw into their kid’s lunch box. Sure, they were basically candy in yogurt’s clothing, but they were made up of milk(flavored corn syrup) AND fruit(flavored corn syrup dingles), so they were practically like eating the tonsil stones of Mother Nature herself!
And here’s a Yogos commercial from 2008 that proved if you snort a Yogo, your brain will hallucinate a world where yogurt peen men bounce in and out of glory holes as a vampire gets killed by a giant watermelon.
For whatever reason, Kellogg’s killed Yogos in 2011.
Of course there are some on the internet begging Kellogg’s to bring back Yogos into their lives, something that Kellogg’s is probably not going to do. So for now, Yogo-heads will have to settle for dipping a Welch’s fruit snack into some Chobani while pretending that they’re eating a yogurt ball that looks like poo from a Lisa Frank bunny.
Pic: Change.org