Hot Slut Of The Day!
Jordan Witzel (seen above busting out an “est Pass“), the Canadian weatherman in Calgary, Alberta who brought tears out of the news anchors with his gorgeous unicorn look!
It is weird to me that they have meteorologists in Canada. Isn’t it always “long johns, parkas, and heated-up-in-the-microwave chonies” weather up there, so why do you all need someone to tell you to wear microwaved chonies before going outdoors? But thank Celine Dion (aka the God of Canada) that you all do have meteorologists, because if you didn’t, I wouldn’t have secreted nectar tears of glitter over Jordan Witzel prancing around while looking like a rejected Lisa Frank unicorn.
On Halloween, Jordan Witzel of Global News shoved his nipples and goods into a white unicorn onesie and decorated his head with a Nicki Minaj wig, if Nicki Minaj bought her wigs at an off-brand 99 Cent Store and washed them in sewer water. When UniWitzel magically appeared in front of his green screen during Global New Morning Calgary as Ferdinand the Unicorn and shook his gay raccoon tail (in such a flirty way that I’m surprised a dozen My Little Ponies didn’t fly on in to try woo that hot piece of unicorn ass), the anchors Dallas Flexhaug (that’s a hot name) and Leslie Horton cried laughed over the ethereal and beautiful sight of his spectacular unicorn bulge!
They were obviously laugh crying because it’s always uncomfortable getting the weirdest boner over one of your co-workers, or they were laugh crying to keep from exploding with jealousy over Ferdinand working flying unicorn drag better than them!
Playing dress up has become Jordan’s thing. He’s dressed as the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man, He-Man, and Princess Leia, and during the Calgary Stampede in 2015, he served a double dose of LEGS when he turned his jeans into shorty jorts:
But he outdid himself with Ferdinand, and also delivered some Flat Bottom Unicorn hotness as Freddie Mercury performed:
https://www.facebook.com/GlobalCalgary/videos/528722761373300/
And really, I don’t need a Canadian meteorologist to tell me that on Halloween, it was raining panty pudding from everybody getting a glimpse of that sexiness!
Pic: YouTube