Other than Lenny Kravitz, there is no person who personifies the phrase “rock out with your cock out” better than Tommy Lee. And for good reason. He’s a rocker who’s totally obsessed with dicks, specifically his own. At this point, Tommy’s dick is essentially a 7.5 to 8.1 inch (per leakedmeat.com) extension of his personality. According to Page Six, yesterday Tommy #IgnightedInstagram with a picture of his fat pink hog trying to root for truffles in his wife Brittany Furlan’s mouth. We can thank the Gods of propriety for small blessing though as the image was mercifully pixelated. Tommy claimed it was the result of Instagram giving him his own dick filter.
Here’s the image Tommy shared with the caption “These new Instagram filters are finally gettin wood … I mean G*eyeballs for o’s*D!!!!!! *person raising both hands in celebration; light skin tone emoji”* they finally gave me my own filter!” Safety Notice: If your penis is as luridly pink as this, seek medical attention immediately. Additional Note: If you look this bored and tired with a dick in your face, seek a nap/divorce.
Bored with slapping that tired puppy dog filter on your hot dog, and looking to change things up? I’m sorry to tell you that the 8-Bit Dick filter is not readily unavailable. Tommy’s probably just yanking our meat. Page Six says that that’s not actually Tommy’s Soprano Sax in the photo.
A rep for Lee now tells us that the penis is not Lee’s, but was a “filter.” They couldn’t explain where this X-rated filter is available or how Lee found it, but said, “All I know is it’s not his [penis].”
I don’t know why Tommy’s acting coy now when half of the free world has already seen the full splendor of his manhood, warts and all.