Night Crumbs

August 22, 2019 / Posted by:

Because Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth are the only married people in history who have ever split, we’re still talking about this. And as Liam stays quiet, sad, shirtless, and hot on a beach in Australia somewhere, Miley let out several tweets letting us know that the cheating rumors are false and after they got back together, she never did him wrong by dropping her hillbilly cooze on another. Miley also let us know that she’s got nothing to hide and unhid shit by saying she lost a Walmart deal at 17 for smoking weed, got dropped from the cartoon movie Hotel Transylvania for licking a dick cake at Liam’s birthday party, and probably has more nudes on the internet than any woman in the world. I’m all for Miley telling us that her cooze isn’t the wrecking ball that ruined her relationship with Liam, but the most nudes on the internet?! The women of StraightGuysForGayEyes.com, whose videos I may or may not watch over and over again, would like a word with Miley, and so would every other porn star who existed ¬†– Pajiba

Tom Hiddleston really doesn’t want to talk about Taylor Swift in interviews, which means that his next interviewer needs to wear an I Heart T.S. shirt while talking to him – Lainey Gossip

If “the lady doth protest too much” needs a mascot, it found one in Young Thug, the straightest man in the world, declaring that he’s the straightest man in the world – Towleroad

Sofia Richie, who is always on vacation, is on vacation from her vacation of a life – Drunken Stepfather

Bella Thorne should really get her nipples looked at by a medical professional, because I don’t think they’re supposed to be all squiggly like that – Hollywood Tuna

Speaking of getting something looked at, Olivia Munn is serving double pink eye – Popoholic

Katie Holmes apparently got sick of inhaling the scent of random crotch every time she hung out with Jamie FoxxCelebitchy

Taylor Swift released her video for Lover, and it’s supposed to have you running to Urgent Care with a twee overdose, but for me, I’m getting a horror movie about two people trapped in a dollhouse. And while some are already accusing Taylor Swift of more pandering by having a black love interest after years upon years of using white love interests, I’m accusing her of pandering to us stoners by eating a dinner of egg pizza, spaghetti, and canned cranberries. No shame. – Just Jared

Pic: Wenn.com

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