Hot Slut Of The Day!

August 13, 2019 / Posted by:

The deviled eggs-crazed bear of Colorado!

Today’s HSOTD isn’t pictured and there’s no picture of ’em yet, but you can probably find them crashing a nana’s weekday luncheon with her friends and pushing the Jell-O and fruit mold to the side to get to their crack of choice: DEVILED EGGS! Today’s HSOTD will do anything for those paprika-infused, Lucifer-inseminated ovary eggs! Well, almost anything. Bitch isn’t about to get caught by the police for them, and will bust through a wall to keep that from happening.

Fox31 Denver is warning all you citizens of Estes Park, CO about a bear who is on the loose and acting a rude bitch just to get some goodies like deviled eggs. John Sliwinski says that late Friday night, he put a trash bag, containing those deviled eggs, into a trash can in the basement. John made the wrong move of keeping the door open. John then went upstairs and that’s when the alleged deviled egg thief smelled the deliciousness and strolled into the basement uninvited. But while trying to get those mayo-barf filled boiled half-eggs, the bear accidentally knocked over the treasure chest of delights (read: the trash can), which blocked the door. The bear may have been dumb enough in the brains to trap themselves in a house, but wasn’t dumb enough to know they didn’t want to get snatched by the fuzz! So the bear tried to get out.

John found out about his furry intruder when a neighbor knocked on his door and told them that something was trapped in his basement and trying to get out. Now, if I was that neighbor and heard something trying to get out of my neighbor’s basement, I’d immediately call 911, and then People Magazine to let them know that I’ve possibly found their next kidnapping saga to cover. But I guess the neighbor realized an animal was trapped in the basement.

The bear loves deviled eggs, but loves not getting caught by the cops even more. Because the bear tore through the insulation, pulled out an outlet, and busted through the wall Kool-Aid Man-style within minutes. I haven’t seen destruction from a bear like this since I had to go to Urgent Care after a beefy Grindr trick destroyed my… Okay, I’ll stop. You don’t need that visual so early in the week.

The Estes Park PD also shared pics of the bear-made busted wall, and gave a warning to residents.

John said he’s learned his lesson and will never put deviled eggs in the trash again. Well, the trash is where that gross shit belongs, but the next time that bear wants some deviled eggs, they need to make a trip to California on Easter and I’ll gladly pass them the vegan deviled eggs my sister makes every year. Actually, scratch that, because the bear will tear off my face in anger after taking one bite. And now my sister is going to tear off my face in anger for dissing her vegan deviled eggs.

Pic: YouTube/Fox31

SHARE
Our commenting rules are pretty simple: If you make any overly offensive comment (racist, bigoted, etc..) or go way off topic when not in an Open Post, your comments will be deleted and you will be banned. If you see an offensive or spammy comment you think should be deleted, flag it for the mods and they'll be forever grateful and give you their first born (although, you probably don't want that).

Comments are closed.

src="https://c.statcounter.com/922697/0/f674ac4a/1/"
alt="drupal analytics" >