Night Crumbs
“Yes, I’d like to report that true love has been viciously murdered and is now dead” is what many 911 operators are going to hear from hysterical Gen Z-ers today since Jughead and Betty from Riverdale broke up for real – Just Jared
We’re living in the age of Awkwafina, and it might be the age of Awkwafina for a while, because she’s signed on to a Marvel movie, which means she’ll be in at least 4,939 future Marvel superhero movies – Lainey Gossip
James Cameron congratulating Endgame for de-throning Avatar as the biggest cinematic money-maker of all-time just reminds me that a movie featuring humanoid tail fucking was the #1 movie in the world at one point – Pajiba
Sorry, but Shawn Mendes will not come out to your parents for you. You’ll have to hit up a Z-list reality star on Cameo for that, bitch! – Towleroad
Riverdale gave me a reason to watch Riverdale again (SPOILER ALERT: Shannen Doherty is going to be in the Luke Perry tribute episode) – SOW
Oh, it’s just Julianne Hough pissing on some rocks – Drunken Stepfather
Olivia Munn is giving you Victorian toddler swimsuit cover-up with that dress – Popoholic
The tan lines that Olivia Culpo’s sensible pool shoes are going to leave…… – Hollywood Tuna
Chelsea Clinton gave birth to her third child and sadly she didn’t name him Fuck The Emails Clinton Mezvinsky – The Hill
Because of that season two ending, Big Little Lies will probably get a third season of the Monterey Five aimlessley driving around while thinking about “that night” and NOTHING else happening… except for Laura Dern showing us that she’s a flawless campy jewel – Celebitchy
Crispy Ronaldo will not face rape charges in Las Vegas – Deadspin
Pic: The CW