Open Post: Hosted By Gritty The Lifeguard

July 21, 2019 / Posted by:

Philadelphia Flyers mascot and former HSOTD Gritty needed a summer job because you don’t play hockey when it’s (literally) 100° out. So he got one as a lifeguard in the Stranger Things universe, as demonstrated by the mash-up clip after the cut. And Gritty’s making everyone at the pool wet and I’m not just talking about the water if you smell what I’m stepping in.

via NHL:

Everyone in Hawkins, Indiana was thirsting over Billy the lifeguard when the summer heat hit, and you could say the same about Gritty in the real world all year round.

So it only made sense to insert the Philadelphia Flyers mascot into the scorching scene from the opening episode of the third season of the Netflix series “Stranger Things” in which Billy, played by Dacre Montgomery, walks out for his shift at the local pool and turns every head on the deck.

I mean…

Mrs. Wheeler is giving the look of a lady who’s got her eyes on the anthropomorphic hairpile dick prize.

People looking to cool off right now should NOT watch this clip. It’s guaranteed to start a fire in your pants. This vid is a health hazard.

In real life, I’ve grossed myself out by imagining copulating with a guy in an unidentifiable furry suit in the middle of fiery July. Nausea is a symptom of heatstroke so I don’t know whether I have that or just revulsion from the idea of ginger Captain Caveman knockoff furry sex. Thanks for that, Gritty.

Pic: Twitter

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