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July 18, 2019 / Posted by:

Pizza Hut’s Priazzo!

Italian grandmothers who died before the 90s ended, died with relief from thinking that the future of authentic Italian cooking was safe thanks to the emporium of truly authentic Italian KWA-ZEEN known as Pizza Hut and their extremely authentic mound of true Italian deliciousness called the Priazzo. (Nobody tell the ghosts of Italian grandmothers that Priazzo is gone or they’ll do nothing but spend their time in the afterlife wailing while wearing their mourning veils.) But for a moment in the 1980s, Pizza Hut made people say, “Did I just bite directly into the stomach of Italy?“, with their Priazzo Roma pie!

The Priazzo was pretty much a stuffed pizza. Pizza Hut took dough, put it in a deep pan, filled it with lasagna-like sauce, cheese, and meatballs before covering that with another layer of dough, cheese, and toppings. It was Jadakiss’ nightmare! It came out in 1984, and The Impulsive Buy says that Pizza Hut offered it up in four different styles:

ROMA – Italian sausage, pepperoni, mushrooms, beef, pork and onion topped with mozzarella and cheddar.

FLORENTINE – Ham and spinach topped with cheddar, ricotta, mozzarella, Parmesan and Romano cheese.

NAPOLI – A mix of cheddar, mozzarella, Parmesan and Romano cheese topped with tomato slices.

MILANO – Bacon, beef, pork, pepperoni and Italian sausage topped with mozzarella and cheddar.

And here’s the commercial, which was obviously directed by Fellini since it’s THAT Italian. Although, nobody says “Mamma mia!” in it, so it’s not that Italian.

Pizza Hut reportedly didn’t get rid of Priazzo Roma because sales were bad, they apparently got rid of it because it took too long to make. I bet! Shit, every time a Pizza Hut pizza chef made a Priazzo Roma, they had to fly off to Italy, grab an Italian grandmother, bring her back to their Pizza Hut and get her to taste it. If she didn’t coo out, “Squisito,” while kissing her mouth, they’d have to start all over again!

Pic: Pizza Hut

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