I never thought I’d be saying this, but Naomi Campbell is all of us. She recently revealed her air travel routine and honestly, she’s never been more relatable. Sure she flies first class and is accompanied by a bodyguard, but Naomi wanders around the duty free shop trying on lip gloss and is skeeved out by being trapped in a disgusting tin can chock full of cooties and sitting in other peoples’ germ stew, just like the rest of us. Somebody offered Naomi a big enough check (Nice Airport and Qatar Airlines, I think) to make a video detailing her international flight routine, and it’s illuminating. Naomi flies commercial, you guys!
Naomi’s two golden rules of air travel are quite sensible: #1. Stay Hydrated, #2. Keep it clean! And for how she achieves the latter, Naomi breaks it all the way down. Naomi starts every flight by digging through her enormous VLT bag for a pair of disposable gloves which are an essential part of her sanitation process. She then goes to mother fucking town with a wet wipe on every single surface a poor person (and yes, even first class passengers are poor people to Naomi) might have touched. But then, something truly shocking happens.
Some peasant who was sitting behind her had the ENTIRE NERVE to ask Naomi to clean her seat too. I just about fell out of my chair. She may have been joking in which case, some peasant who was sitting behind Naomi Campbell had the ENTIRE NERVE to speak to Naomi without having been spoken to first. And the most shocking thing about it was that instead of calling over an air marshal and having the peasant restrained and locked up in the coach bathroom for the duration of the flight, Naomi pleasantly handed her a wet wipe and told her she could do it herself. I’m still shaking.
Naomi also uses her own seat covers, which she buys at the airport in fun colors (pink in this case, but sometimes turquoise pronounced “tur-kwahz” the way only the very wealthy pronounce it. Angelica Huston, for example, also pronounces it this way), and has them hand-washed by whatever hotel she stays at. She doesn’t just burn them after each use! After her environment has been made adequately sterile, Naomi sets upon her extensive hydration routine. Naomi is not trying to get sick and she’s not trying to show up in Qatar looking like the Crypt Keeper. No ma’am. Naomi’s walking off that runway runway-ready and strong enough to whoop any trick who might try her.
Here’s Naomi complimenting people’s legs, getting hyped by seeing Dame Joan Collins on the cover of a magazine, buying gummy bears, and making an audition tape for CSI: First Class Cabin.