So this is actually not news to me, because I am a Chris Evans superfan. I know what you’re thinking: “Kristian, but you’re always talking about Chris Hemsworth!” And yes, I am. But there is room for two white guys named Chris in my heart, and technically Chris Evans is the first because he continued my gay awakening in 2004 with that Flaunt magazine shoot. So I was fully aware that before Chris was wearing whipped-cream bikinis in Not Another Teen Movie or burning his clothes off in Fantastic Four man was also gigging it as Tyler, a surfer in the board game: Mystery Date. He’s a man of many talents.
Chris Evans is not only politically involved, he also loves rescue dogs, and helps incredibly talented women walk up stairs in heels and dresses. And now the mainstream is getting wind that Chris also was the perfect boyfriend in the 1990s.
The New York Post reports that a Twitter user found her old copy of Mystery Date and saw a familiar face in one of the potential boyfriends the player could end up with. Mystery Date was first introduced into the world in 1965 when gender roles were super fluid and not at all fucked up. JK, we know what was going on. The board game–marketed to girls aged six to fourteen (which is me–that’s a demographic I identify with)–was reissued in 1970 and updated again in 1999, and again in 2005–this time with a phone which let players give the mystery date an actual call. Girl, it was so high-tech! Well for us it was: now kids just sext each other.
Writer, Dana Schwartz, posted this to Twitter:
— Dana Schwartz (@DanaSchwartzzz) June 25, 2019
There he is: a young Chris Evans sans-muscles, plus-surf board. Look at the hairstyles on the other two boys? Those middle parts? Yikes. Thank god Chris missed that trend. Well now we know what Chris will be doing with all his free time post-Captain America: getting back into the fictional-dating scene. Tyler could take me the Secret Beach, if you know what I’m saying.