Hot Slut Of The Day!
Sam Neill’s duck!
If you’re a hard-up whore whose brain is covered with dick imprints because you’ve always got peen on your mind, then you definitely read that as “Sam Neill’s dick” and are probably waving your blue balls at me for tricking you. But this is a G-rated story about Sam Neill’s DUCK, you SUCIO tramp, so if you want some of Sam Neill’s dick, just Google “Sam Neill’s dick” like I did after giving myself blue balls by reading “Sam Neill’s dick” instead of “Sam Neill’s duck.”
Social media is usually a flaming over-filled Port-A-Potty with wafts of hot diarrhea fumes pouring out of it, but amidst the thick, moist clouds of caca haze are tiny sparkles of sweetness, like Sam Neill’s Twitter and Instagram pages. Sam lives on a farm and vineyard in New Zealand, and has proven that he’s really Snow White’s father with all his beautiful animal friendships. One of his animal friends is Charlie the Duck, who hasn’t flown in years. But while Sam was recording Charlie the other day, and narrating some cuteness straight out of an episode of Planet Earth Goes To The Farm From Babe, he noticed that the duck hit some ice while gliding along on the water. Sam told Charlie to go around, but Charlie decided to say “quack that” to going around, and instead flew over that bitch.
My duck Charlie was wanting to say hello this morning, but met a barrier of ice. A major hurdle. Then something very surprising happened … pic.twitter.com/bzToAMm2WR
— Sam Neill (@TwoPaddocks) June 22, 2019
I’m with Charlie. If that scalding hot drink of GILF was calling me and a barrier of ice was blocking my way, I’d find a way to sprout wings and fly on over to him. And hell, I’d fly a second time, because Charlie did and it got him a kiss on the head from Sam.
Flight CH002. Charlie just walks/runs/swims normally , and then this weekend- majestic flight over ice TWICE pic.twitter.com/b2iYRHIGyv
— Sam Neill (@TwoPaddocks) June 22, 2019
And when Sam isn’t kissing his duck (Side note: The ONE time I actually want to make a typo by typing “dick” instead of “duck,” I fail myself!), he takes sweet walks with Charlie through their land:
Morning walks and chats with duck . @charliepick pic.twitter.com/a5ZHl7oS6w
— Sam Neill (@TwoPaddocks) May 30, 2019
And has deep conversations with Charlie:
When a duck understands everything you say. pic.twitter.com/UWRiEPth6a
— Sam Neill (@TwoPaddocks) April 15, 2019
Imagine the sin-free life Charlie lived to come back as Sam Neill’s beloved feathered friend. It’s too late for me or I’d beg the Gods to make me the duck friend of Sam Neill (or some other sweet and hot actor/vineyard master) in my next life. The best I can hope for is to come back as Vince Neil’s dick wart.
Pic: Twitter