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June 21, 2019 / Posted by:

Dr. Marijuana Pepsi!

We here at Dlisted regularly make fun of, or sometimes honor (like in this case), fucked-up names, and some thin the parents of children with bizarre names are cruel since they have set them up for a lifetime of bullying over their name and are doomed. But a woman named Marijuana Pepsi (“What a beautiful name” said Cocaine Coke) saw that talk about her being doomed and raised ’em a P-h-fucking-D.

With a name like Marijuana Pepsi, you might think that she was destined to become a headline stripper at a Harold & Kumar-themed strip club, or a weed shop girl who works as a soda jerk on the side (yes, I said, “soda jerk,” I am your grandma). But Marijuana Pepsi is now a doctor. She’s Dr. Pepsi, so that fake doctor soda bitch Dr. Pepper can eat it. Or drink it, in Dr. Pepper’s case.

Marijuana Pepsi made the internet rounds a decade ago when she earned her master’s in higher education administration and was teaching in her hometown of Benoit, Wisconsin. Since then she’s been working on getting her PhD in higher education from Cardinal Stritch University, and Dr. Marijuana, who is my favorite weed doctor who never was, got it last month.

Marijuana Pepsi was born as Marijuana Pepsi Jackson, and later became Marijuana Pepsi Sawyer, and then in 2017, she married Fredrick Vandyck and became Marijuana Pepsi Vandyck, which is the hottest version of her name yet. If she wants to keep it PC, though, she should go by Cannabis LaCroix SUV Lesbian.

Dr. Pepsi tells The Milwaukee Journal Sentinel that her mother gave her that name from the WTF gods, because her mom wanted her to have a name that would “take her around the world.” So I guess Dr. Pepsi’s mom thought that naming her after two things that take you higher (from the THC and carbonated corn syrup) would do the trick. Of course, it was an obstacle for Marijuana Pepsi, and she was bullied for it and many, including bosses and friends, told her to go to court to legally change it. But instead of doing that, Marijuana Pepsi embraced it and even based her dissertation on it:

It’s fitting that an African American woman who has gone through life as Marijuana Pepsi chose as her dissertation topic: “Black names in white classrooms: Teacher behaviors and student perceptions.”

She interviewed black students at the University of Wisconsin-Whitewater, where she received her bachelor’s degree, about the effect of their distinctly black names on their treatment by teachers and on their academic achievement. The young people were eager to talk on this topic.

Dr. Pepsi works at Beloit College as a director of a program that helps low-income students, students with disabilities, and students who are first generation enrollees. On top of that, she owns a life coaching business and is starting a scholarship that will give $500 each year to a first-generation African American student enrolled at UW-Whitewater.

Dr. Marijuana Pepsi says that every time she steps into a classroom, she proudly declares her name to get their attention and let them know she didn’t let her name hold her back:

“Regardless of what they do, say or what they’re trying to put in place, you still have to move forward and succeed. That’s my big thing. Don’t use that as an excuse. Use that as a steppingstone to keep on going. Leave those people behind and then you reach back. Each one reach one. Reach back and pull somebody else up.”

Dr. Pepsi has two sisters, Peyote Fanta and Shrooms Tab. No, they got the names Kimberly and Robin. I guess their mom didn’t want them to go around the world.

The thing is, Marijuana Pepsi has never touched her first name and doesn’t drink her middle name. So Marijuana is marijuana-free basically. Maybe her mom pulled some reverse psychology shit, and thought that if she named her daughter Marijuana Pepsi, Marijuana wouldn’t touch the stuff because that’d be too cliche. It’s like if my mom didn’t want me to grow up to be a big giant drunk slut, she would’ve named me Dick Balls Martini. Nope, still wouldn’t have stopped me.

Pic: Marijuana Pepsi/Facebook

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