Hot Slut Of The Day!

On this Memorial Day, as you honor the men and women who died fighting for your freedom and right to get day drunk in an inflatable pool in your backyard by getting day drunk in an inflatable pool in your backyard, take a millisecond to remember Hedo Rick. Or don’t, because you may have already successfully exorcised the image from your brain of Hedo Rick busting out some pussy-eating crab moves on Memorial Day weekend back in the day.

Hedo Rick, who is from the Florida of the west known as Arizona, was a Hot Slut of the Day long before Hot Slut of the Day ever existed. But in 2010, Hedo Rick caused a panty pudding flood to fill the internet when a video went viral of him being interviewed at the “clothing-optional” adults only resort Hedonism II in Jamaica. Hedo Rick is, or at least was, the King of Hedonism II, and he’s exactly what you’d expect the King of Hedonism II to look and act like. It’s as if he fell straight out of a swingers segment from an episode of Real Sex in the 90s.

In the clit-exploding video, which has over 5 million views now, Hedo Rick says he’s been causing the coochies of Hedonism II to howl since 1988 and he’s visited dozens upon dozens of times. Just 20 seconds into the video, Hedo Rick mouth jizzes out the catchphrase that took over the internet in 2010 when asked why he goes to Hedonism. Rick let out, “The wild women, the wild women, the rippin’ and the tearin’.” I don’t know why Hedo Rick goes all the way to Jamaica to get himself some wild women, because you’d think that the wild women of Arizona would throw themselves at him coochie-first as soon as he drove by in his bright yellow Camaro IROC-Z (with Mudflap Girl mudflaps on it) and honked the horn, which is obviously customized to the tune of Feel Like Makin’ Love.

But if that catchphrase doesn’t make your down-low parts set off smoke alarms by shooting out a geyser of piping hot steam, Hedo Rick’s moves will. With help from Beyonce, Hedo Rick lays down several moves that’ll leave you as wet as the ground he slips all over. He does “the sick cat dry heaving on the rug” move, the “half-paralyzed crab giving birth as a ghost sits on its face for some cunnilingus fun” move, and the “churning butter while fucking the barrel” move.

This is really the middle-aged horny man’s version of the Rain Dance, but instead of making the clouds rain, he makes genitals rain!

And here’s more of Hedo Rick rippin’ and tearin’ after fueling up with a chocolate martini:

In 2013, BuzzFeed delivered a very important piece of investigative journalism when they tracked down Hedo Rick and talked to him about his viral fame. Hedo Rick loved the video, and he explained his catchphrase was born while joking around with his co-workers at his job (he did A/C repair for a school district).

Rick says his catchphrase – “the rippin’ and the tearin'” – came from joking with his buddies in building maintenance for an Arizona school district. “I’d say, ‘Let’s rip through the work orders and tear through them.’ And when the video came out, everyone wanted to know where I came up with that phrase. Well, it was ripping through the resort, through the nude beach, the dance floor, the jacuzzi, and tearing into the ladies’ coochies.”

The Baryshnikov of our time AND a poet.

Whatever you’re doing on this Memorial Day, I hope you’re rippin’ and tearin’ it up like Hedo Rick rippin’ and tearin’ up his bones, muscles, and joints from falling on his ass while drunkenly dancing on the wet ground poolside ladies’ coochies at Hedonism II!

Pic: YouTube