Scientists Have Found Cocaine In Shrimp In The UK

May 4, 2019 / Posted by:

CNN reports that, if you live in the UK, you don’t need to push your luck by going into a dark corner of a pub or club or the part of the parking garage without security cameras to buy your yay anymore. Just go down to your local pond and snort shrimp! That’s right, scientists have found “traces of illicit drugs, pharmaceuticals and pesticides” in samples of freshwater shrimp.

Scientists from King’s College London and the University of Suffolk did a study where they tested the exposure of wildlife like freshwater shrimp “to different micropollutants at 15 different sites in the county of Suffolk.”

Scientists were surprised to find illicit drugs in samples in rural England, with cocaine found in all samples tested and ketamine also widespread.

“Such regular occurrence of illicit drugs in wildlife was surprising,” Leon Barron from King’s College London said in a press release.

What the hell do freshwater shrimp look like when they’re in a k-hole? Yikes. So, basically, the whole freshwater ecosystem in the UK is high and all of the creatures are in danger of OD-ing or opening a nightclub in Mykonos.

“Although concentrations were low, we were able to identify compounds that might be of concern to the environment and crucially, which might pose a risk to wildlife,” said Thomas Miller from King’s College London.

Scientists have also recently found levels of benzoylecgonine (which is the “main metabolite of cocaine”) in London wastewater. So, everyone in the UK is apparently doing enough lines to qualify for a part in Scarface. Including their shrimp. The UK is often accused of having terrible food but Long John Silver’s locations must have a mile-long line of hipsters, record executives, and Lohans going down the block.


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