Open Post: Hosted By The Dick Cloud On An Ariana Grande T-Shirt

March 22, 2019 / Posted by:

Ariana Grande kicked off her Sweetener tour in Albany, NY this week, and like any pop star world tour, she sells overpriced crap that she knows fans will spend four months of allowance on. But many fans and others aren’t amused by what she’s selling and for how much she’s selling it. They just don’t appreciate a t-shirt that looks like one of the Blue Men fucked it. 

DesignTaxi says that people are laughing at Ariana’s expense. A fan account of Ariana’s posted a closer look at the merchandise available to be purchased for the low price of $40-$75.

Her brother, social media mogul Frankie Grande, also showed support by rocking the merch with some friends (including the way more relevant Shangela) at Ari’s show:


View this post on Instagram


merch first…. #sweetener… HERE. WE. GO!!!! ?????

A post shared by Frankie James Grande (@frankiejgrande) on

Well, the internet quickly took notice and came to a basically unanimous conclusion: IT’S SHIT!. The dragging began and it was a thorough one. They took on individual styles, they brought up Microsoft Paint, they hit her with some memes, they said her clouds looked more like soft penises; they dragged this girl’s ponytail to the stratosphere and left it there:

Luckily, if you hate all this hideous official merchandise created by people paid lots of money who work with teams dedicated to finding out what sells and what people want, you can hop on over to Etsy and find way cuter shit by people who don’t have all those legs up:

So I guess we know that Ari’s merch won’t be selling out. Which is a shame for Microsoft. Since Rodgers and Hammerstein get 90% of the money made from 7 Rings I would only have to assume that Microsoft Paint gets at least 75% of the money made from this trash. Sigh, maybe they should have used more dick clouds?

Pic: Twitter

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