Night Crumbs
The blasphemous Heathers reboot that was killed, brought back, and then killed again is coming and will see the light of day. Paramount Network will burp up all episodes during a marathon week at the end of the month. Will I watch it? Probably, because I made a vow to God to watch anything that Shannen Doherty is in, but I’ll be watching while heaving out the words, “Shannen deserves better.” Just like I’m doing now while looking at that 99 cent polyester Peter Pan wig with a clip-on ponytail they gave her – Pajiba
Amy Schumer was maybe-arrested at a Brett Kavanaugh protest today – Just Jared
Since Neri Oxman supposedly dumped him, Brad Pitt has scratched “MIT professor” off the list of possible interesting girlfriends and has moved on to “spiritual jewelry designer” – Lainey Gossip
Uncanny San Fernando Valley – Reality Tea
Shannon Tweed’s eyebrow situation is almost as perfectly manicured as Gene Simmons’ black dyed foam insulation hair – Drunken Stepfather
If you’re completely dead inside and want to know what it’s like to feel things for a second, watch this – Towleroad
I see you and your “meeting tricks at a bar” privilege, Jenny Slate – Celebitchy
Sarah Hyland is working some Vanessa Hudgens at Coachella cosplay – Popoholic
Ariel Winter in an actual magazine or Ariel Winter modeling stripper “work the room” gowns for a catalog? – Hollywood Tuna
PODCAST NOTE: There will be no podcast episode tomorrow, because I got food poisoning, and I don’t think listeners want to hear me say, “Bitch, hold up, I have to run to the toilet,” every 5 minutes. Or maybe they do? Sick bitches! We’ll be back with a new episode on Wednesday.
Pic: YouTube