Hot Slut Of The Day!

May 27, 2018 / Posted by:

The original recipe Apple Cinnamon Cheerios from the 1980s!

Yes, I can smell the Apple Cinnamon Cheerios breath shooting out of you Apple Cinnamon Cheerios-loving bitches as you scream, “You dumb fuck, Michael, that shit is still around!” I know that Cheerios still makes Apple Cinnamon cereal but it’s not my Apple Cinnamon Cheerios. It’s a new and not-improved version that makes me say, “Harpo, who dis Apple Cinnamon Cheerios.

Mr. Breakfast says that General Mills first started selling Apple Cinnamon Cheerios in 1989. It was like regular Cheerios but was injected with “natural” sweetness and looked like an apple barfed all over them. They were covered with “real” apple pieces. If you have a dick, and put a condom on it, and then violently fucked an apple pie, the ring of the condom would look like an Apple Cinnamon Cheerio. Delicious!

General Mills tried to create mascots for Apple Cinnamon Cheerios in the 90s. The mascots were two superheroes named Apple and Cinnamon who fought against the evil thieves trying to steal the apple and cinnamon sprinkles from the kids. Apple and Cinnamon were such pathetic excuses for mascots that they got me rooting for the evil dudes.

Sometime in the early aughts, General Mills changed the recipe of Apple Cinnamon Cheerios. They basic bitch’d it by not embedding it with chunky apple pieces. How tragic. That is why I honor the REAL Apple Cinnamon Cheerios today. I cannot, will not and refuse to accept any Apple Cinnamon Cheerio that doesn’t look like it’s been jizzed on by Johnny Appleseed.

Pic: Pinterest

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