Beyoncé Bought A Church In New Orleans

May 21, 2018 / Posted by:

There’s always a pop star must-have accessory. There were Von Dutch T-shirts, there were tiny dogs, and now it’s religious real estate. While Katy Perry may have briefly knocked Madge off the top of the Vatican’s 10 Least Wanted list for her ongoing dispute with the nuns and her potential new Los Angeles house, Beyoncé just snatched up a church in New Orleans (and I hope she wore the outfit above to her closing). Considering how much the Beyhive screams over how she takes them to church when she so much as coughs, this only makes sense.

TMZ says Bey plunked down moolah for the 7,500-square-foot church only recently, and it was listed for $850,000. What a divine bargain! The church is over 100 years old, but it has been out of commission since, sadly, a lot of the members passed away. While I’m not sure if any of them will necessarily resurrect upon hearing the news for a gossipy angel up in heaven, I would imagine several are rolling over in their graves knowing the place where hymns used to ring out will now be replaced by someone doing vocal exercises to the word “surfboardt.” The property is also down the street from Bey’s sis Solange, who is probably muttering to herself, “I can’t even move my ass to the Big Easy without this bish coming in and trying to upstage me.

While it’s unclear what Bey plans to do with the building, I’m sure a few (AKA all) of her fans will show up weekly for Sunday services since 900 of them suddenly got religion a few weeks ago when a San Francisco church held the first known “Beyoncé Mass.” I say known because I’m sure Bey has been making her handlers host a Beyoncé Mass at the start of every workday before she lets them get to the important task of Facetuning all her Instagrams.


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