Colton Haynes Has Filed For Divorce From Jeff Leatham

And they said it wouldn’t last…oh, wait. That doesn’t work here. Call it the Kase of the Kurse of Kris Jenner or wandering peen or just moving way too fucking fast, but Colton Haynes and Jeff Leatham are barreling through their break-up at just the pedal-to-the-medal speed they had when they first got together. It’s a shame they didn’t enter the Kentucky Derby last weekend because this is turning into the Triple Crown of celeb splits.

TMZ reports Colton has already filed for divorce from Jeff, his husband of six months and source of what appears to be every A-List flower arrangement in Los Angeles. Divorce documents were filed Tuesday, and people still aren’t sure why they’re over. Colton unfollowed Jeff on social media, and when he posted a song about cheating on YouTube, people figured Jeff had either boned someone who isn’t Colton or Colton was trying to be on American Idol.

Colton has since said Jeff didn’t cheat on him, so people still have no fucking clue as to what it was that broke these two up. If I had to wager a guess, I’d say Colton brought home a hanging plant from Home Depot, and that just really insulted Jeff’s Four Seasons-caliber florals and sent him into a tailspin. What? I’ve known gay couples who have broken up over far less! Like Beanie Babies. OK, fine. I was that gay couple who broke up over a Beanie Baby collection.

Pic: Instagram