Open Post: Hosted By Britney Spears Saying That The Secret To Happiness Is Selective Amnesia

Do your past mistakes and embarrassing behavior keep you up at night? Do scenarios where you’ve acted inappropriately or said something stupid run on continual loop of shame whenever you close your eyes? If so, Britney Spears has got a solution. According to Britney, “the secret to happiness: No memory”.

Ricky Martin presented Britney with a Vanguard award at the GLAAD Awards, so Access Hollywood reporter, Scott Evans (not that one) whipped out a 1999 picture of Ricky and Britney together and asked her what she remembered about the day the photo was taken. Britney’s answer: Not a Goddamn Thing.

I was hoping the ghost of Patrick Swayze would storm in and announce “nobody puts Britney in a corner” because she looks like she needed saving. Britney was joking, but her face is telling a harrowing tale throughout this interaction. She looks like she would chew her own leg off if it meant Scott would stop asking her to remember things. What he should have done was lay a trail of Cheetos to lure Britney into a safe space then calmly tell her where she was and what year it is. If he had done that, she probably wouldn’t have had to dismiss him like he was a rabid Jehovah’s Witness.

Pic: YouTube