Logan Paul’s Parachute Failed To Open

February 3, 2018 / Posted by:

As evidenced by The Forest, you don’t eff with the ghosts of Japan’s Aokigahara Forest. Embattled YouTube dicklick Logan Paul learned this when he posted a video of what was purportedly a body dangling from a noose in the forest on his YouTube channel. His fans were aghast, Google Preferred dropped him, and he had to issue a double-apology cuz’ his money sitch was endangered. Well, those in the afterlife whom he disrespected felt that wasn’t enough. So they made sure Logan’s parachute refused to open during a skydiving session. It’s okay to laugh because he lived.

People reports that Logan was taking a skydiving lesson when his main parachute failed to launch. Suspiciously enough, he didn’t film it… He related his brush with potentially pancaking in a breathless tweet.

The controversial YouTube star, 22, said he was forced to “cut away my main parachute” after it failed to open during a lesson. He shared the news on Twitter and Instagram stories, writing in the latter, “here’s a photo of my empty pack after i had to cut away my main parachute bc it didn’t open i can tell you.”

Even his tweets are douchey. Trump should take lessons.

Logan used his brush with death as a reason to vlog again. He hadn’t since the Internet turned on him after the suicide forest affair.

On Instagram stories, he continued saying, “Maverick lives to fight another day. Yo, this happens to .1 percent of people. My instructor was wearing a 360 [degree] camera so I am going to post a vlog.”

Anyone who nicknames themselves should be shunned. A guy who nicknames himself “Maverick” should immediately be launched into space towards the nearest wormhole. Many people responded to Logan’s tweet saying that it’s “karma” and if his second chute hadn’t complied, someone should’ve  posted it on YouTube. Logan probably wouldn’t mind too much as long as it got millions of views.

Pic: Instagram

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