The Rainbow Just Got Dim: Elton John Announced His Retirement From Touring

The gay mafia is frantically searching today for a new Debbie Corleone (who are we kidding? RuPaul has a lock on it), as Elton John made a surprising retirement announcement in New York on Wednesday. Before you start to shed tears of sequins, he’s going out at Cher-levels length with a three-year, 300-date tour, per the press conference. Of course, Elton couldn’t have an announcement without shading a diva.

Rolling Stone says Anderson Cooper moderated the retirement press conference for the farewell, which he’s calling the Farewell Yellow Brick Road tour. The presser began with a LSD-trip of a CGI tour of Elton’s hits, including him dressed as a sequined L.A. Dodger and shooting up to the stars for “Rocket Man.” That all then gave way to the actual Elton banging out a few tunes at NYC’s Gotham Hall before sitting down with The Silver Fox for a little retirement tell-all.

Elton says his priorities change. Per usual, blame the kids. Elton says he wants to spend more time with his two sons and husband David Furnish…and maybe test out Eminem’s wedding gift:

“I’m not going to be touring anymore. I’m not going to be touring and traveling the world. My priorities have changed. I have young children.”

Before you put on “Candle In The Wind” to mourn the loss of Elton’s career and before Madonna cracks a bottle of rosé thinking he won’t be around to drag her “talents” on the red carpet anymore, he isn’t going to stop recording music. That’s easy to do from home. BUT he also said you shouldn’t expect his farewell to be like Cher’s:

“I’m not Cher… I’m 71. I can’t physically do the traveling anymore. I want to be at home. I really want to spend time with my children at home. I’ve had an incredible life, but life is all about change.”

While he doesn’t expect his tour to be the Farewell…JK! Tour, he does say you might see him pop up in a residency somewhere, a la Kate Bush’s 22-night feature in London back in 2014. He also has a residency at Caesars Palace in Vegas.

Some were wondering if this had anything to do with health, as Elton had to cancel a string of shows following exposure to a rare bacteria in South America last year. He dismissed those claims to Anderson, but some still aren’t so sure he’s ready to get off his throne. David just last year talked about how Elton “must never stop performing.” And it isn’t even the first time Elton has called it quits. He was singing a swan song for his touring ways back in the 70s, so I fully expect him to spend about 5 minutes in the Memaw Diva nursing home with Madge talking about Studio 54 before he’s spooked right back onto the stage!

Pic: Wenn.com